THE COLD SHOULDER

Correct me if I'm wrong, but all women have a certain feature that they like to show off, because it makes them feel sexy. For some, it's legs. Others it's cleavage. And most of the time - at least from my personal observations - it's the derrière. For me? Collarbones, all the way.

In case the clever angles and posing in my Instagram/blog photos have fooled you, I'm a pretty tiny person. Not too short at 5'6", but I've always been on the smaller end of the spectrum, wearing XS shirts and 00 jeans until I discovered Tex-Mex a year ago. Growing up, I barely filled out my clothes (and can still fit into decade-old clothing to this day), so I've never had those voluptuous and womanly assets that most of my female friends and family members like to accentuate when the occassion calls for it.

If I'm being completely honest, it used to bother me more than I'd like to admit. LIKE, A LOT. Apart from being told that I needed to eat more from my peers (ah, middle school bullies, how I haven't missed you), just like any confused adolescent, I couldn't understand why my body didn't look like the social standard of a "hot girl" once I was old enough to understand that there was a social standard in life. I was normal enough. I was feminine enough. I certainly ate enough - regardless of what most people might think, considering my size. But it really didn't matter what I did. Because while it's a common practice to eat healthy and exercise to get those #bodygoals, that wasn't going to help me grow those "assets" I thought had skipped over me during puberty. Now when I share this story, I usually get a ton of eye rolls and requests to "shut up," and all I'll say to that is this: it's my body. I had a certain vision of what attractive and beautiful was when I was growing up, and all I could see was that what I had, did not match up.

Thankfully now that I'm an adult, I've grown out of that mentality. I've come to realize that all bodies are different, and just because I don't have a body built like Beyoncé, doesn't mean I can't be sexy too (LOL - so weird typing that out). So what if I can't wear a down-to-there neckline without looking like a teenage boy, and my butt looks more like a pair of grapes instead of an apple bottom? I'm healthy, and I'm happy with the way I look. And looks aren't everything. I'd like to believe that it's not just physical appearance that determines beauty, but someone's personality, their heart - their soul. Looking at the big picture in that way, makes my adolescent insecurities seem so insignificant in comparison.

So I've learned that yeah - maybe I can't fill out a set of lingerie like the lovely ladies that appear on the cover of Maxim Magazine. So what? Wearing this shoulder-baring jumpsuit from Wonderland Honolulu makes me feel #onpoint. With my overly-worn thigh high boots from Simmi Shoes, a thick choker necklace, and badass silver rings from Threadscence and Barse Jewelry, I don't feel like I have to be wearing a low neckline and skintight bottoms to feel like a bombshell. That look may work for some women (and yes, I am still envious), but with my athletic body type I have to be a bit more creative. And that's how I like it. Screw the social standard. Conformity is for weak. Wear what YOU want. Wear what's right for YOU. Wear what makes YOU feel good. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Not me.
 

xx Audrie

Sunglasses: Tobi // Jumpsuit: Wonderland Honolulu // Belt: 2020AVE // Boots: Simmi Shoes // Choker: Wonderland Honolulu // Rings: Threadscence + Barse Jewelry // Earrings: The Peach Box // Bag: Silpada